Jack didn't mean to follow him all the time. He really just didn't know of any other way to be happy. The dreams had made him happy, but now his dreams of Avery were flat and imagined. Real dreams, not reality. Jack's new dreams were nice enough, and he'd wake up in need of a wank or a hand towel or a spare hour to hold his pillow. But they weren't real. They weren't Avery.
Jack was in his room, for once not following Avery, because he didn't know where Avery was. And that bothered him. Avery hadn't had a happy life, Jack understood that somehow. And what if Avery needed Jack there for him? Not Jack specifically, but a protector, or support, and a hug. Jack didn't pretend that Avery needed only Jack. But Jack needed to know where Avery was to be comfortable, and so he was waiting, door open, to see Avery return.
The room that Jack had to himself was tidy, cleaned and cared for like a house, and that was what Jack was used to. Things littered the floor, though, and his drawers were difficult to shut again once opened, and opening his bag would let papers slide all over the floor. Jack tried not to clean as much anymore. Normal boys didn't do it. And he wanted to be a little more normal. Maybe he was scaring Avery away.
Right now, though, Jack felt as far from unique as it was possible to be. He was sitting on the floor of his room against the far wall from the door--Avery would not pass by unnoticed. Jack had homework ignored in front of him and was smoking, which was rather daring if he'd thought about it, but simply necessary. Jack needed to fill his lungs with something instead of Avery. He was also wearing a jumper that offset his tight trousers ridiculously, thick cable knit dropping past his hips and hugging only his shoulders before dropping away so slightly that he'd hesitated to roll his sleeves up. It looked like Jack was hiding. Hiding his body, yes. Hiding himself...yes. Oh, where was Avery? Jack's sleeves reached his wrists again and he cupped the shrinking fag between his hands. Damn, was it going to go out? He was too lazy to--yep. There it went. Jack tossed the dead cigarette out his door, a little grumpy now that he had nothing to do but wait. And wait. And wait!
Until Avery was there.
Avery, looking tired, stopped at Jack's door and picked up the cigarette. He didn't look at Jack, and Jack felt embarrassed when Avery stepped out of view. But Avery came back, hands full, and slid onto his knees in front of Jack. Jack opened his mouth to ask what he was doing, but Avery held out a cigarette, and Jack took it in his teeth. He waited for Avery to light it, watching him, and then moved it to the side of his mouth with his tongue so he could speak. "Thank you."
"What are you doing on the floor, anyway? Dreaming?"
"I wish."
Avery didn't say anything to that, just tucked the lighter back into his pocket. Jack regretted speaking. It wasn't that Jack desperately wanted to be normal. Honestly, he'd probably get less attention than he wanted if he was. But he wanted to enjoy his dreams again, and he wanted a boyfriend to be happy with, and he wanted to finish a fucking cigarette without Avery reminding him why Jack was unable to be happy. He didn't have everything he wanted, but as long as he didn't have Avery, he didn't have anything that he wanted at all.
"Jack?" Avery said, and Jack noticed that he was leaving again.
"Yeah?" Jack reached for his mouth and exhaled smoke. It was noticeably thin--he'd he'd his breath too long. Avery's cigarettes tasted better.
"Nice jumper." Jack looked up, but Avery looked sincere, if slightly far off. Wasn't that how he always looked? Absent. Where was the rest of him? He'd been whole, in Jack's dreams. Maybe...maybe Jack's presence had completed him. Dangerous thinking, Jack.
"Thanks. Where are you going?"
"Er." Avery bit his pinky nail. "Just sleep, I think." Jack nodded.
"Sweet dreams, then."
"I hope so."
Jack closed the door when Avery was gone and sat, finishing the cigarette before anything else. This one didn't go out. He decided to nap, too.Jack didn't mean to follow Avery all the time. But this time, his dreams were happy.