1.) my middle name, fitzwilliam, is my mum's maiden name.
2.) i was named after my mum's best friend. he was also gay. weird coincidence or maybe it's this name. he was killed by homophobic pricks before i was born.
3.) i'm an angel. or that's what we call it.
4.) so's my mum. and my siblings.
5.) but i didn't know until this past year.
6.) i doubt anyone believes that, but i do need things to fill up the one hundred spaces with!
7.) i've left school even though i'm only sixteen. i don't think i'll be going to uni because i have no idea what i want to do with my life and i'm set in my inheritance. bet you are annoyed by that.
8.) my parents have over three billion pounds in the bank.
9.) my mum's family built this house in 1803. it's been renovated and added onto a lot over the centuries but the main part of the house has the same interior with only repainted walls. and there are servants' quarters with blood on the wood.
10.) according to legend, my great great uncle benjamin was killed by his brother because he was having an affair with the servant boy that the brother had been molesting.
11.) i'm gay. but i had a girlfriend when i was 10 years old. her name was isabella and she was an arse. i never liked her and i was a trophy husband.
12.) i was born in india whilst my parents were on holiday.
13.) two weeks premature.
14.) my nanny taught me afrikaans when i was a baby because my parents were out of the house a lot and she spoke english rather poorly. my dad got really angry and fired her when i was two.
15.) i could finally speak fluently in english when i was four. i had been able to understand it, but i preferred afrikaans.
16.) i got a biscuit every time i spoke in english.
17.) i used to sing 'twinkle, twinkle, little star' all round the house. it was the only english i accepted at the time.
18.) i learnt to play the violin when i was three so that i could express myself in a way that wouldn't involve language battles. i got so brilliant (YES, I AM BRILLIANT AT IT THANKS) that i advanced to the top of my small school at the age of seven and was always doing concerts and the like until i went off to eton.
19.) i also played piano.
20.) i used to hunt with my dad when i was very small, but i wanted nothing more than to bury the field mice tails found dropped by birds and made far too much noise for any hunting to actually be accomplished.
21.) i also rode horses, played football, did rugby, cricket, archery, fencing, crew and a week of ballet before the age of ten. rugby's the only thing that really stuck.
22.) dad pulled me out of ballet after a week because he thought i would be ridiculed at school for it. i was only seven. it broke mum's heart because she is a retired ballerina.
23.) mum put me in painting and singing lessons, as well. i never took to painting as well as singing, but i could do both. painting not as nicely as singing.
24.) i used to be in the church choir and had lovely experiences as an alter boy. it was just to humor my grandparents when they visited (my paternal ones, not my maternal ones).
25.) my dad is about six feet high.
26.) but my first boyfriend was taller.
27.) i lost my virginity at twelve.
28.) i've overdosed on drugs i had no idea i was taking.
29.) i've been a bit bullied.
30.) one of the drug overdoses nearly killed me.
31.) but i can't die. so it didn't matter.
32.) you didn't believe that one, either.
33.) i tried to commit suicide. i've got a dirty great scar across my neck but it won't be there forever.
34.) i've consciously and willingly smoked fags and weed, but there have been times that i was given ecstacy and much harder drugs. with alcohol.
35.) i no longer smoke or drink and i like it that way.
36.) my first boyfriend was four years older. i guess i shouldn't call him my boyfriend because i didn't know what the fuck i was doing.
37.) he broke my knee with a cricket bat.
38.) because of that, i had to have many surgeries to repair the damage. it'll heal one day too.
39.) i used to have a pierced lip and a pierced eyebrow but i took them both out.
40.) i told the tattoo artist to get 'avery' done on jack's hips. jack was too drunk at the time to notice, but i don't think he minds. i also don't think that tattoo parlour was a very good choice.
41.) my mum's family is blue blooded and owns a diamond company.
42.) my family also owns a couple of fine restaurants in cape town and johannesburg, but we don't really care as much about them i guess.
43.) my parents have been stalked by the paparazzi who were hunting down some of the most elusive socialites. my parents aren't very good socialites.
44.) we get invited to random red carpet events all across the globe, but we never go. well, unless it's the oscars.
45.) my dad is a lawyer. his family doesn't know i'm gay and no one wants to tell them that i am or they'd cut off my dad's inheritance, and because he's their only child it would be pretty stupid.
46.) i broke my arm once by falling out of my treehouse. i didn't care at the time and climbed right back up. but then later i slipped again when i was coming out because it was hurting and i wanted my mum to fix it, and i broke it again in several more places.
47.) i've been inside jack's dreams. and jake's.
48.) when i get really, really pissed off i go off into afrikaans without thinking. the same goes for if i'm really, really turned on.
49.) i enjoy cross-dressing.
50.) and i collect fancy knickers and corsets and shoes.
51.) androgyny was easier when i was younger.
52.) i enjoy pain and bloodplay when having sex--but only when i have sex with jack. i think it's because of our past that we like it so much.
53.) i have a bear named jacob that i used to sit on when i was very small.
54.) i had blond hair when i was a baby and it only darkened when i hit puberty. and it didn't darken that much, either.
55.) i got top marks at school. even whilst i was in hospital for a thousand years.
56.) i may have lived in africa all of my life, i've never seen a lion or a giraffe outside of a reserve or zoo. people always ask me if i have, though.
57.) i've been to england, scotland, wales, ireland, northern ireland, france, spain, germany, australia, egypt, morocco, the us and india. i want to go to andorra most of all.
58.) when i was born the doctors thought i was blind and deaf. i don't know how you could be that stupid.
59.) we have three hounds at my house. one is named sprinkle. my sister named him. we call him spud.
60.) jack says that everything i wear is white. that is a lie.
61.) i stole my lorry pyjama bottoms from my brother james, who was ashamed to own them.
62.) i also own footie pyjamas and i am not ashamed about this at all.
63.) i learned italian before jake.
64.) i enrolled at eton as a twelve year old music scholar. because i never attended school in the mainland UK, i couldn't get any more scholarships than that.
65.) someone once thought i was from china. that was really weird because i'm white.
66.) i find cigarette-smoking to be incredibly appealing to watch, but that doesn't ever justify anyone partaking in such a horrible activity. pipe smoking is a family pastime so i don't know what i'm going to do.
67.) i can be incredibly verbose and unnecessary, but usually i am NOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!
68.) i finished my eton education while out of school.
69.) my little brother is taller than i am, and my baby sister will be the same.
70.) i have touched a living great white shark. in the ocean. on accident.
71.) the local government is having problems containing the primate population. it's absolutely hilarious but also rather frightening.
72.) i miss my mum right now.
73.) i'm afraid of death even though i don't have to worry about it. i do anyway, but not for me.
74.) i want children and i want one giant wedding where we three could be bound together legally.
75.) my house is haunted. or so i have a lot of reason to believe. mum thinks it's the spirit of my great great uncle and the boys. i think i agree.
76.) in one of the servants' quarters by my room is a series of worn out carvings in the wood. some tell a story and some are just words in both english and afrikaans. there is only one date carved in (1879), but the drawings seem to span a several months or maybe even years. and further up the stairs is a spattering of stained wood.
77.) i like to call my eyes SWAMP GREEN. i used to tell people i was born in a bog.
78.) i used to have a really bad immune system. part of the reason is because i was born so early and part is because i was fucked up as a twelve year old.
79.) i had severe depression and other stuff. and i used to go to a psychiatrist but i no longer do because i kept moving across the continents. it's better now.
80.) i used to cut. i had problems.
81.) but i don't now.
82.) i just sneezed all over the laptop screen. it looks sparkly now!
83.) i have some rings on my fingers.
84.) i can make jack's dream come true this one is top secret because it could be dangerous.
85.) my favorite body part is my arse. even i have to say that it is the most beautiful arse in the world. i would worship it if i could see it on a regular basis. (i'm not really that vain, but it's fun to pretend!)
86.) i used to be painfully shy in new environments. such as when i started at eton! which is why my mum sent me up to stay with frank and his mum. frank's mum was my mum's friend and mum thought it would be a good idea if i had a grasp on english life in an adolescent environment.
87.) i have twooooooooooo boyfriends! and they are boyfriends with each other! and we are all boyfriends together!
88.) the first time i saw jake i walked into an open door and almost broke my nose. i spent the first week at eton with a disgusting bruise and had to concoct a less embarrassing tale to tell people.
89.) i almost kissed jake the first time i ever spoke with him.
90.) i never know where to draw the line with TMI. can i tell you all that i've had sex in every position and that i like it ROUGH AND HARD UP THE ASS!?!?!/1 WHILE IN STOCKINGS AND HEELS AND CUTE LITTLE KNICKERS?!?!?!?1//////
91.) another person thought i am from australia. i suppose that could be a little more believable than china.
92.) i call stop lights 'robots'. i always have to think about what i say in case i use more embarrassing south african slang. such as howzit. WHICH I SAY ALL THE TIME I CAN'T HELP IT!!!!!
93.) i want to play in the pro rugby league but i'm too small to be considered, even though i'm damn fucking good, THANK YOU.
94.) i want to join the circus.
95.) i hate cricket.
96.) and i have a major problem with violence. it scares me. probably because of my own experiences. so why i play rugby i don't know. but having awesome tackling skillz is always cool.
97.) i think jon heder is really hot.
98.) jenna jameson is my hero. sometimes.
99.) i look at playgirl every day and make jake pose like the hot models and he complies and always looks more attractive than the guys on the website. always. and then we have sex.
100.) my back is super ultra sensitive. especially around my shoulder blades. it is dangerous when receiving back massages.